Weird Germany

Nothing says “holidays” like getting hammered, and nothing says “beer” like Germany. That the two should be combined was inevitable. Germany isn’t big on fleeting food gimmicks, but come Christmas they loosen the lederhosen and break out a variety of holiday themed products. Considering that they already make beer for dogs and champagne for children,...

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The Germans have the strangest habit that drives me absolutely nuts. They close the bathroom door. Yeah, okay, we all close the bathroom door. Hopefully. But the Germans close it when they’re not even in there. The biggest drawback to this is not knowing if the room is occupied. You either have to walk through...

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Christmas in Germany takes place on the 24th, and things go down a bit different. Present opening doesn’t take place until night. In fact, the Christmas tree doesn’t go up until this day, and it’s set up in a room that the kids are forbidden to enter. The tree is decorated and the presents set...

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Christmas craziness in Germany is best accentuated by the countess Weihnachtsmärkte (Christmas Markets) that spread like tribbles in December. These outdoor markets are usually formed by long rows of stalls that sell candy, German crafts, and most importantly, hot, cinnamon-spiked wine that transforms shopping in the cold into a pleasant experience. Our city of Esslingen...

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Animatronic figures have long since been a part of Christmas tradition. Usually there will be a cozy manger scene, where the animals might bob their heads or the like. There used to a be a Peter Pan display at the local mall when I was a kid. I always liked that one. You don’t see...

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Whenever I burn incense in the house, it makes Andreas think of Christmas, thanks to the smoking men that burst out of attic storage come December. Glorified incense burners, smoking men usually come in the form of wooden figurines, often with nods to various professions, or sometimes as animals. I have the dubious pleasure of...

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These clever little devices are called pyramids in German, but are probably better described as carousels. They operate on a very simple premise. The heat generated from the candles moves the wooden fan blades above, causing everything to spin. Usually there are little figures in the pyramids center that enjoy going for a ride. As...

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If there’s one holiday that’s big in Germany, one big festive money shot that the entire country revels in, then without a doubt it is Weihnachten. That’s Christmas to you and I. Over here the celebrations span multiple days, including four advents, a day dedicated solely to Santa Claus, and a trinity of days as...

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Ice cream is the hottest cold commodity in Germany. Every summer I’m astounded at the amount of ice cream that is sold, doing mental calculations of how much cafes earn while tonguing the hell out of a cone myself. It’s not terribly expensive. A waffle cone with a generous scoop of ice cream only costs...

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There’s a man, his wife, a truck, and a whole lot of vegetables. And they mean business. The man, let’s call him the Potato Pimp, parks his truck outside of apartment buildings and homes and rings his bell like an ice-cream man, but it’s potatoes and veggies that he’s peddling. In Berlin they were a...

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