About Me / Contact
I’m always a little bit uncomfortable writing about myself. It feels too egocentric. Then again, I enjoy stalking people online, so it’s only fair I allow others to do the same.
My name, if you haven’t guessed already, is Jay Bell and I was born February 19th, 1977 in Merriam, Kansas. For simplicity’s sake let’s say I grew up there, although I also spent a decade in Missouri and Texas somewhere in between. I suppose my childhood could be summed up in two words: rebellious nerd. Come to think of it, that pretty much covers my teen and adult years as well.
I was never much for school. Professionally I got by doing tech support or other computer related jobs. While working in Lawrence, Kansas I met my future husband. Andreas was an exchange student from Germany, a country I hadn’t given much prior thought to. Andreas was that just-right combination of handsome, intelligent, kind, and talented for me to fall in love. What he saw in me is the real mystery, but we packed up the cats and moved to Germany to get married.
Not being able to speak German left me blissfully unemployable and allowed me to focus full time on my writing. I’ve always loved books, delving into fantastic worlds and letting myself get lost there. I grew up marvelling at the creative genius of C.S. Lewis, Piers Anthony, Robert Asprin, Terry Brooks, even that guy that wrote the Mr. Men books. The list could go on and on. It’s a daunting task to try and add my own stories to the countless volumes already out there, but I’m giving it my best.
Anything else you’d like to know, feel free to ask. Reading my blog will reveal most of my hobbies and interests as well. And hey, just so this isn’t all about me, feel free to tell me about yourself below. We can start our own biography party!
Maybe it’s a little liberty to write some words here,and i know my english is poor( i’m just a chinese schoolgirl :p),but..
the reason i enter this website is,i am watching the movie online,and i like Gary.
i am finding more about his photos in google.but there are only several ones.
somehow i finded a picture,big and clear.then i entered here from the link.
so…em..it’s really hard for me to make request to a stranger,however…
would you please send me more photos about Gary if you are not busy?
well,i like the name:The Cat in the Cradle.very nice mood,i like the feeling.i do hope i can read it.
thank you very much.
you don’t know how lucky you are to flee the United Statelets of a Belt Between Canada and Mejico, kid-o.
Mr. Bell – Came across your movie review and coming out vids on Youtube. I was impressed and took a look at your website. Gave your site a link on my humble site – right hand column under “Writers”. If you have something coming up that you would like publicized, give me a holler and I’ll post it under my SHOUTOUT header. I do this for free, cuz I know how difficult it can be for gay creative types, esp. when starting out.
regards,
Rick
Hullo, Jay Bell.
I’ve been wanting to talk to you ever since I came across your videos on youtube. I’m Charlotte, I’m a lesbian and I’m French. Of course it is a very conventional and meaningless introduction, but that’s all I can think of for the moment.
I was tremendously touched by your videos. Your words have a strange power – that of stirring what is good inside people. You helped me a lot, and I’m not the only one saying that, as I could see on youtube.
Then when I saw that you were a writer… I couldn’t help myself, I had to get to you.
I happen to be an unpublished writer too, and am currently working on a fantasy story featuring a gay heroine. I thought maybe you would be glad to hear you’re not alone in this boat.
I greatly admire your behaviour and your ideas. You would oblige me in answering that post, and do me an immense favour if you agreed to email me from time to time.
Charlotte
Hey Charlotte!
I’m so glad you like my videos. I keep thinking that they will bore people, but when I get a comment like yours it makes me feel good about them, so thank you.
I like the idea of fantasy novel with a lesbian protagonist. Has that been done before? Xena is the only thing that springs to mind. I never read a proper book like that, so I hope it gets published.
As for email, it’s easier to contact me through YouTube or Facebook messages, since I check those more regularly. All the links are on the front page. =)
Dear Jay:
I am a Spaniard who lived in the U.S. for quite a few years, came back to Europe, met my German husband who has always lived in Luxembourg, fell in love and married. Now we spend part of the year in Madrid, part in Luxembourg, and the rest in different places.
I’m also a writer and I publish novels in the wonderful places that come up in the web. I’m in the process of working to have my books in KINDLE format for Amazon.
We have a lot of things in common except our age. I am already retired.
I enjoy your videos very much. Go on, please!
Joaquin
Hey Joaquin!
Thanks for stopping by! I haven’t visited Spain or Luxembourg yet, but they are both on my list. Did you and your husband get married in Spain, since there is full marriage there, or Luxembourg?
I’m interested in getting my books on KINDLE as well. I’ve heard great things about the sales. I really think eBooks are the way of the future.
Mr. Bell:
, well the thing I’m contacting you is becouse I was trying really hard to find your book but I’ve failed to, so I wanted to ask you if you have shipped your book to my country (Venezuela) and if you haven’t, are you planning to?
well, first of all, Hi!
Miguel
Hey Miguel,
I think your best bet for getting my book in Venezuala is The Book Depository ( http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/book/9781934041871/The-Cat-in-the-Cradle ) because they ship worldwide for free! I hope that helps!
Jay
I am a frequent reader of your blog posts. I liked the recent one and other posts on your blog so much that I have subscribed to the blog’s RSS feed in Thunderbird. Even thinking of stealing some ideas and put them to work. Keep all the good work going by posting more informative posts. Thank you. Time well spent on this post.
I am just curious how you respond to the backlash regarding the racial situation with the movie “the last airbender”.? It is disappointing for me .. because I really love the cartoon series and I loved the movie. I want to take the time to congratulate you on your cartoon it is great! I think that they (the crazies with too much time on their hands) are being ridiculous!! I think that the parts were cast-ed really well! Just curious what you think…. since you wrote the story .. it should be how you think it should be .. it wasn’t written from a nonfictional character that “the crazy people” can compare it to. If I’m not mistaken. LOL
I think they should have cast actors based on acting abilities only. I wouldn’t have chosen one race or another to represent the Fire Nation. I don’t plan on seeing the movie, since I love the cartoon version so much and haven’t heard much good about them film.
I didn’t write the Avatar story though. Not sure how you came to that conclusion. I wish I had! =D
Hi Jay
I happened across your YouTube video on the ten best gay films and from there have watched quite a few of your musings on various topics – they really are quite addictive and thought provoking.
However I’ll restrict myself for the moment to just a couple of thoughts/suggestions. You say your don’t speak German. Can that still be true after living so many years in the country? I know that Germans love to practise their English, but I would urge you to learn the language. It’s not half as difficult as people imagine, and it enables you to get a much better insight into the people, their culture and their politics. As you have probably worked out by now, I’m a great fan of the country and its language, and though I’m reasonably fluent in German and regularly read about Germany on-line and listen to the “Tagesschau”, I really envy your living in the country.
Another thing I have noticed is your use of the term “husband” to describe Andreas. Is this term regularly used by American gay couples? As you probably know, technically Germany does not recognise gay marriage, but uses the term “partnership” – as in the UK. Moreover I do not think that a German civil partnership gives you all the benefits of a straight marriage. Here in the UK gay civil partners have exactly the same legal rights, including social security and tax benefits, as heterosexual married couples, but I hardly hear anyone talk about their “husband”. “Partner” seems to be a term now widely used by both gays and straights – particularly straights who live together and are not married!
Tschüß
Graham
PS The website relates to a group which I run. If you’re ever in London on one of the days in the programme, do come along.
Hey Graham!
Nice of you to write. I’m a bit of an Anglophile myself, so it’s funny that you have such an interest in Germany. Maybe we should switch places?
That might actually be hard because I love it here. I do speak German and started learning it on my own before I moved over here. As a result, my grammar is horrid, but I’m able to comfortably handle most social situations these days, so it’s good enough for me.
As for the civil partnerships, as of summer last year a Lebenspartnerschaft is mostly equal to a marriage. I think the only difference is when it comes to filing taxes, but I haven’t researched it recently. As for the term Husband, I’ve always used it and always will, since I believe it’s not in the power of any government or person to grant a marriage. Only two people can decide between themselves if they want such a commitment. That may be a bit philosophical, but it’s where I stand. However, I understand and recognize the importance of government granted rights.
I’ve also noticed a lot of couples, especially in the UK. using the term partner. I think that’s cool. Whatever people term want to use is fine.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to drop me a line and check out my videos. I’m off to see your site now!
Jay
Hi Jay
Your comment upon the power of governments to “grant a marriage” is interesting because the Harvard professor Michael Sander in his 2009 Reith lectures puts a very strong case for officially recognised gay marriage (as opposed to civil partnerships) – based on the recognition which the state and society thereby confers on a same-sex relationship. “The debate over same sex marriage is fundamentally a debate about whether gay and lesbian unions are worthy of the honour and recognition that in our society state sanctioned marriage confers, so the underlying moral question is unavoidable.” Until recently gay marriage was not a big issue in the UK – with civil partnerships many gay people thought the battle was over, and in any case in the UK religion plays a far less important role than it does in the USA. However, it has recently been reignited by gays with strong religious convictions. This is because a civil partnership ceremony cannot contain any religious element at present. Gays of a religious persuasion argue that this is wrong, and they should be allowed to form a union recognised by the state in a church, and/or include religious texts in their civil partnership ceremony. However the reason why this is currently not allowed is that the Government wanted to maintain the concept of marriage as being between a man and a woman; if a gay civil partnership ceremony became identical in its content to a religious marriage, then the distinction would become meaningless, and de facto we would have gay marriage.
I must admit that this was not an issue that particularly concerned me until I listened to Michael Sander’s lecture. I think he makes a very strong case for gay marriage. So I now do think it important that the state recognise the concept of gay marriage. Just seeing this as essentially a personal matter between two individuals is not enough. If you want to hear the complete lecture, or read a transcript the link is http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00l0y01 .
Best wishes
Graham
I’ll be sure to check the lecture out. I visited your London walk page, and that’s something we may do someday. Andreas I usually visit once a year, and we love historical stuff. Looks like a lot of fun!
[...] can find out more about Jay at his [...]